Is it Enough?
by mmil612
Summary: Set 3 years after their marriage, Elizabeth doubts if her love for Fitzwilliam and their expanding family will be enough...
1. Chapter 1

Starting to realize I am a danger to myself when left alone for 5 minutes. I guess I'll be writing this and Jungle Fever at the same time now...

The hard part will be keeping these couples and their dialog straight in my head.

Please tell me if you think this is worth pursuing/publishing.

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**Chapter 1: The beginning of the end...**

"You will get every bloody doctor and apothecary within 10 miles to the estate in the next 2 hours or I will have your head."

"Fitzwilliam, no, please stop. I knew it had to be this way. I told you. This is not how I want to remember you love. Sit with me, hold your son. Let us decide on his name together. Hold me as I gaze into his eyes. It will be my last time, my only time. Isn't he beautiful?"

"Elizabeth, stop saying such things. You will be fine. You will see. You will recover. Your mother gave birth to 5 healthy children and still lives a long life. You will do the same..."

"I do not know why I know my love, I only know that I will not. The pains are getting worse again, she is coming, my daughter is coming. Please, I beg you, for the sake of both of our children and for you. Make sure you do as I have told you. Cut me open and take the child. It is the way it must be."

"Elizabeth, do not say such things. You know not of what you speak."

"I know this is my deathbed and I have minutes until I draw my last. I know how much my love for you consumes me and my every thought. I know the son suckling at my breast will never have another chance to do so and my daughter will be jealous of these few minutes he had with me that she will not her whole life. For you will rip me apart to save her. She will be the apple of your eye my proud husband, and it will have been worth it."

"Midwife please, please tell me wife to stop this nonsense, that she wrong, that nothing is amiss. Give her something for the pain and delirium."

"Do not give me anything. I have minutes left and I do not want to spend them asleep or hazy. I must spend them with you, my family, and you must spend them with me. Tell me how much you love me William, how much you will miss me and how your life only truly started when you met me. Say all of it now so that you can and do move on when I am gone. "

"I am the master of this house, and I ordered you to give her something, do it now. My loveliest Elizabeth, you will feel better soon. Just rest now sweetheart."

"Fitzwilliam Darcy, I demanded you tell me you love me. This is not the time to disobey. You will regret it if you don't for the rest of your life."

"I will tell you I love you tomorrow Elizabeth. Right now I am rather occupied with making sure you are well my love. "

"Mrs. Reynolds, promise me, we have discussed this before. Lock my husband in the kitchens if you must for the next 30 minutes, but take your carving knife and cut my little girl from my body when the time comes. She will live. She can live, but not for very long once I stop breathing, which will be soon, I can assure you."

"Mrs. Reynolds did you hear me, understand me? This is the last thing I will ever ask of you. Raise her well, show my children the sunshine, do not let Fitzwilliam get lost in himself. Make sure they always knew how much I love them and that I wouldn't change any of it.

William, do not cry. The children will need is my forever. Let it be enough...You did not say it, but I will. I love you."

"Doctor, what is wrong with my wife. Why is she not waking. Did you mean for her to sleep?"

"Mr. Darcy, your wife has lost too much blood. While we dismissed her words earlier, she seemed to know something we did not. There is another babe, trapped in her body. She is too weak to expel it and we will most likely lose them both. I am sorry Mr. Darcy. But your heir is healthy. Your son has survived. Is that not reason enough to rejoice?"

"Rejoice? You call yourself a Doctor? My wife lies before you, and yet you can do nothing and you ask me to rejoice?"

"You must find a wetnurse immediately. Even if by some miracle your wife survives, she will not be able to nurse your son."

"I find myself almost afraid to ask the question Doctor, but was my wife correct? Would the child survive if you, if you extracted it forcibly?"

"Sir, are you asking me to cut the babe from your wife's still warm body?"

"Is she still breathing?"

"Barely..."

"Is there any chance she will survive?"

"None that I know of Sir..."

"Can you save the babe?"

"I believe so. I saw it done once while in medical school in London."

"Is this what my wife asked of you? If you do nothing will they both die?"

"Almost certainly, Sir, yes."

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"Your blood is on my hands Elizabeth. Do you know what you ask of me? Demand of me? How can this be, that three years of marriage and we come to this? I am actually contemplating asking the Doctor to kill you, to murder you, to save a child, our child? What if you are wrong –and I am a murderer. I murder the mother of my son. I cannot live with myself either way Elizabeth. You cannot leave me. Please, Elizabeth I beg you. Come back to me..."

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"Mrs. Reynolds, what do you think you are doing?"

"My duty, Sir."

"Your duty? and who specifically do you think you serve here?"

"My wife is dead. The baby is dead. I did nothing and have let them both die. Who will raise my son?"

"Begging your pardon Sir. But your wife claimed she saw this in her dream Sir. I beg you, let me cut the child out. She told me what to do. Please, the time is precious. I am willing to hang for this if I must, but I promised her...she never ever broke a promise to one of the staff, please Sir, I beg you, let me serve my mistress in her death."

He slipped to the ground near her bed and wept. Her hands were cold, never to feel the warmth of sun or his kisses again. Had he told her he loved her before she could not longer hear him? "Oh God Elizabeth, what have I done to you? Who will raise our son? Why did you leave us? God should have taken me and left you. I cannot do this without you. DO you hear me now wife? Did you see this in your dream? Did you imagine me hating you? How could you let this be Elizabeth? I do not want the children, I just wanted you..."

It was as if she wanted to deliver the final blow, in retribution for her husband ignoring her wishes and pleas...Fitzwilliam suddenly heard his housekeeper gasp and say a quick hail Mary "Sir, sir, I'm in need of help. Call back the doctor or the midwife...she lives..."

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Review, etc. you know the drill.

Should I continue this?

I promise...no more than 2 stories at a time...Jungle Fever update coming next...

Thanks for reading.

M


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: She?**

...at this Fitwilliam grabbed her hand and pressed it to his face.

"You lie, she is cold and dead. I would know if she was still alive. Leave me, leave us both. Take my son, ask Georgiana to raise him. I will die here with my wife, of a broken heart. My estate has its heir. My job here is done and so is my life. Now GO! Wait for nothing!"

"Sir, forgive me, but the other baby, she lives. Shall I take her too? "

"She?"

"I did as your wife asked, the child is alive. She has not cried, but she is pink and healthy. I will take her away at once and check on the boy. Your wife left me something to give to you. I will be back with it shortly. I know it is not my place Sir, but she demanded I not let do this to yourself. She knew you would try to..."

"Mrs. Reynolds, today may be the first time I have ever yelled at you, and this will be twice in one day, but GET OUT NOW and do not ever have the audaciety to bring her back to this estate. That babe is a murderer . You will personally see to it that it is removed from Pemberly before noon and she is never to return!"

"Yes Sir. "

"You still wait? Did you hear me? Fob that murderous babe onto some under maid and see to my son. He is to want for nothing. Notify the staff the mourning has begun. We will leave for London directly after the funeral. "

"We, Sir?"

"My son will be travelling with me. We shall never be parted from this day forward. I will raise him myself. This estate holds no hope for me. No future now that Eliz—now that its mistress is dead and gone. I do not intend to return. My son may chose to return one day. That will be his choice in due time..."

Mrs. Reynolds knew she had been dismissed. She also knew her master was out of his mind with grief. Still, she was gratified that he had changed his mind about the boy so quickly.

Darcy laid his head back on the bed near his wife's side. His hand still clutching her cold grasp. He begged, he pleaded, he swore, he prayed, he paced, he talked...but nothing changed. She would not return from the dead this day. He could not summon her normally indefatigable spirit or her ghost.

Sometime later when Darcy has been forcibly removed from the mistresses bedchamber, her body had been taken away to prepare for burial and two babies found wet nurses of a suitable nature (although of very different circumstances), Mrs. Reynolds went searching for the trunk which Elizabeth long maintained contained her "treasure".

She found it with relative ease in the Lady's private parlor which to the best of her knowledge had never been used throughout the duration of her marriage. Mrs. Reynolds used the key her mistress has given her during the long labor to open the latch. She had never before seen the contents of the trunk and did not know what it contained. She only knew that her mistress had given her specific instructions and she expected to follow them out. Today, she had personally cut a live baby out of her employers dead body. Surely, if the master of the house has plans to hang her, it would be for the cutting and not to opening the trunk or following the orders or a recently deceased gentlewoman.

Her Lady's treasure appeared to be stacks of bundled letters, with names attached to each one. To her husband, the proud Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy she had written the most. It appeared she had written him a letter every day of their marriage, for there were surely almost 1,000 letters and most of the stacks were addressed to him. To her son and daughter, she had tied those packages with a pink and blue ribbon respectively.

Upon further inspection, Mrs. Reynolds found a letter addressed to herself. She opened it with trepidation and caution. She half expected to be caught and dragged to the cellar at any moment.

_Mrs. Reynolds,_

_My most loyal friend and humble servant._

_I beg your forgiveness for the tasks and assignments I placed upon your shoulders today. I know you have buried too many members of this household in your lifetime and that mine was the last you expected to add to your somber list. Forgive me for being correct in my dreams and visions. I can assure you that wanted these events to happen as they have far less than you or anyone else now reading my thoughts, wishes and desires. I have spent the last 3 years waiting for this event to take place. On the night of my wedding, what has happened today was my dream, and as much as I tried to prevent it, circumvent it and forstall it, apparently I failed in my endeavors. If you are reading this, then my worst nightmares and brightest hopes have all come true. I have died giving birth to two beautiful, perfect children. In death I have achieved permanance and history for Pemberly, just as my mother in law before me, and countless generations to come after me will as well. That future is possible now, because of me. Fitzwilliam has his heir, because of me. Our love, while it will not die, can now never be forgotten or erased. Like a candle that wil burn bright for eternity, I have given him a son and done my duty. I have also given him a daughter to balance him, to teach him humilty and to retain all of the social graces he gained from our marriage._

_I know my husband, as no person, man or woman has known him before. He will rant and rave, he will grieve my lost body and soul. He may revolt from the responsibility of our children and this burden, but as I know him, he will come to love and appreciate, care and protect. He will come to care for an eventually love both of them, for together, with them he will find his salvation and his future. You Mrs. Reynolds, must help him do this. You are the only woman he will tolerate setting him back on the path of life and living. When you sense he is ready to rejoin the world of laughter and sunshine and the giggling smiles of our growing infants, you must be the one to show him the way._

_Do not allow him to blame her, to resent her or to cast her away. She is my daughter, she is his daughter and she is the birth and proof of so much love, passion, happiness and commitment, he will be damned if I will allow him to forget it. You must press upon him that if he casts her away or rejects her, he rejects me. He rejects all that our marriage and our union created and meant to both of us. Rally him with the battle cry of his vows in the Church at Longborne. Till death do us part. I was not dead when you took the babe. My life force rests in her. I will only truly be dead should she die. He must protect her, shelter her, love her, sustain her –and it will be as if he had done those things for me. Is still doing them for me. She is a living, tangible piece of me._

_Should he be immovable, join Georgiana and Fitzwilliam in your cause. He must read my letters. Remind him of the debt he owed me for reading a troubling letter of his creation at Rosings. He can select or chose any letter to start, but he must agree to read at least one. Do that, and consider yourself free of the burden I have placed upon you. Released of any kindness you may have felt you owned me. I am cognizant that I placed a tremendous burden upon your shoulders today, but I did so out of trust, out of love and out of appreciation for all you have done for my family and will do for them in the future._

_Do not lose hope Mrs. Reynolds. My husband will find his way back to me, to love and to life. He must just have the time to do so. In the meantime, do not give up on my daughter. Keep her close to her brother, albeit hidden from my husband and his jealous rage if you must. No matter what vile ideas and abuses he may throw, remember that she is my daughter, a proud daughter of Pemberly and one day, very soon, she will have her father's undying love, just as she will always have mine. Protect her, nurture her, cuddle her, and she will know she is loved until my beloved husband is able to fill his role as he should. Whatever happens, protect her and secure her future with Richard or Georgiana if need be. Of course my own beloved sister Jane would also love her most affectionatly. Do not let her become lost like a wayward child of a downtrodden woman at the scorn and displeasure of the master of the house. He will change his mind. He will heal. He will forgive. He will learn to love again._

_Be patient and be strong Mrs. Reynolds. The future of Pemberley is once again in your very capable hands._

_Faithfully,_

_Elizabeth Darcy_

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So, I had something different in my head, but this was what came out.

Back to Jungle Fever...then I'll be back with Chapter 3 of this. Never thought about accurately writing Regency and Modern at the same time. If I confuse the dialog...please forgive me. :)

Thanks as always for HONEST reviews. This will get happy BTW! I promise rainbows and unicorns kinda happy very soon!

M


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